Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!
My Social Networking Links
My Facebook **hint hint - add me**
The Only One And Best Exotic Dance School In Singapore
My Ultimate Shopping Heaven
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Besties - no more
I really don't know if I should message her or not. I mean, she would get so pissed if I do that. She don't even want to see or hear about me anymore.
Trying to put a smile though. I don't want anyone to worry. I do care about her and reads up on her facebook, which is enough to keep me updated. We hadn't really talked for a very long while and... I guess she have better options out there. I mean, she totally deserves someone nicer!
I cannot help but feel a pang of jealousy over her friends. I want to be the one that she tells her secrets to. I want to be the one whom she turns to when she is in face of trouble. Somehow, things don't work out that way.
I used to make up troubles so that I can find an excuse to talk to her. That makes her think that I only find her only when I am troubled. But reality is that I really just want her to open up to me and talk to me. About stuff that you don't want people to know.
I guess I am a really bad friend to start of with. How come she rather confide in others than me? I know better than to blame anyone. Just really upset that someone who left footprints beside me is going to be an empty space.
I am really confused about my feelings. Should I be happy as she is happy or should I get jealous for she is happy?
Someone kill me. Been rolling about in bed since the last message (I secretly hoped that she'll reply but she didn't) and have been thinking so much. Things are up to such a turn that they can never be solved.
It is always denial on my part.
I know she doesn't read blogs so it is really little chance of her seeing this.
I don't want her reading this as well. It would probably make her have sleepless nights.
Damn, am frustrated on how I should deal with this. Where have the level-headed me gone to?
Got. To. Get. My. Feet. Back. On. The. Ground.
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay