Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!
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Sunday, March 20, 2011
Fuck, my brains just expanded triple in size.
Well, yesterday I was out and on the Ayer Rajah Expressway home, chauffeured in the lovely, no-longer-so-trusty Toyota Corolla, I just so happened to turn my head and peeked though the small slit of my eyelid (as I always sleep once my bum's on the cushioned passenger's seat) and instead of stealing a quick look at Date, I saw one HUMONGOUS (and I mean really SUPER DUPER!) bright ball at the back of some buildings. I tried to recall the road there and looking up the Google! Maps (took me hours of road-tracing and painstakingly clicking and clicking inch of road by inch of road, okay!) I finally found a familiar building! I had the moon's position filled in with BRIGHT YELLOW so that it would be noticeable for idiots out there. Though some may, now, go, "Yellow is bright and so is the sky. It DOESN'T contrast and strains my eyes." I did my best for you guys so I reckoned that I SHOULD be given a pat on the back for my hard work instead of sarcasm so I would love to rebut, "I hope instead of straining your eyes, IT'LL FUCKING STING YOU!".
Anyway, I just had to post this. It was beautiful. You know the typical moon you see in those werewolves movies? Vampires and etcetera? It was the exact same! Pure white with some EERIE (with a prolonged and capitalized "e") patches of black that creates shadows on it. Reminds me of Mom's lie. Yes, Mommy, YOU! I remembered asking her what are those black dots on the round, white ball, while pointing with my index finger. She berated me, exclaiming that I shouldn't point at the moon or the moon would cut my ear. She also added, in a strict, as-a-matter-of-fact voice that the dots are Chang-Er and the Jade Rabbit!
I nodded and smiled happily, knowing that she is in a good mood (for she actually cared to answer), I bombarded her with, "Whys" for the next few hours until her face turned into a shade of gloom that puts Justice Bao to shame.
The next day, I didn't get my ear sliced. So I challenged the moon again, pointing it when it was at a crescent. That sharp slit could chill one to the bones, an uncanny resemblance of the Cheshire Cat's grin, as though devil is lurking and surrounding, observing and stalking your every move, following (in this case, "openly") you in the hidden darkness. FUCKING HELL! My ears both have a thin crust of blood the next day. From then on, I kept my fingers to myself and mumbled or showed my apologetic sincerity to the moon whenever I point them.
But after several trial-and-error experiments, I came to a conclusion. My own theory (so for those who beg to differ, it's your risk to take and I am not responsible) of the "Mysterious Night Visits"; Moon only cuts your ear when it's sharp (also known as in crescent) but when it is pregnant with Chang-Er's and Jade Rabbit's presence (also known as oval or wanning gibbous), it is too blunt to do any incision. Whahahaha.
Damn crappy of me, I know.
Mom's fault. She also told me that Justice Bao has his black face and a moon on his forehead because he FORGOTTEN that he had put a piece of paper there and went suntanning. Thus, his whole face is charred except for that little marked spot.
You guys have no idea what I learnt as a kid. Thank god! When Date asked me how am I going to explain birds and bees to our future babies, I stared at him, and whilst giving him a "politically correct" answer, my mind drifted off wondering what would happen if I proposed the same thing to my Mom as a child. I snickered when I thought of the possible answers which she MIGHT come up with. Things like, "I picked you up from the bin." or "You suddenly pop out from nowhere when I'm in the toilet."
Lol! Being my mother is definitely something admirable. Not for the weak, as I am capable of making one into a permanent mental wreck. A plus point for myself is that I spent most time sleeping (reason why I am so well-developed in bone and muscular structure) and I do not cry a lot. Not to mention the fact that I am not a fussy eater (but messy one!) and I love to take my milk bottle myself (no strenuous-awkward-mono posture from those feeding adults). Peace and quiet is the pro, a constant stream firing machine gun questions was PROBABLY the only down side. *Clears throat* And maybe a little more expensive than most kids because I am mischievous and investment in canes are a necessity.
Ask my Dad. Whenever he canes me, I am not like my cousins (boys!) who would run around. I just stood there. It's not that I don't want to run, just that the house is too small for me and there is just no hiding space. Where do you expect me to squirm into? The living room had nothing except a table and a long sofa attached to the wall. The fragile glass table was a box and I doubt that I could pass through solid items. Being tough is no-no for kids because I LEARNT, in my teens, THAT TEARS ARE THE ONLY WAY TO GET THINGS YOUR WAY!
The famous quote goes: 一哭,二闹,三上掉.
Truth pill: This post is a very try-too-hard attempt to make you all forget the wuss-emo-depressive-unsecured side of me.
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay