Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!
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Saturday, April 2, 2011
Those words I've never said
I've always thought that you will know how I feel about you. Guess sometimes people need to hear even if they know what, deep down in their hearts, what the words are. Reassurance - I need that too. I never once told you how much I cherish you. My actions may reflect the negative - taking you or our relationship for granted. Now, I'm crying over a mug of spilled milk. A glass which I toppled myself. All the hurt I've brought into your life, kept haunting my nights. Whenever I asked, "what's wrong?" , you'll just keep everything to yourself. I had always known what was bothering you. But I acted ignorant. Though I pretended not to care, I'll think of some ways I could amend. Make it up to you in some way or another. I don't know how to express myself - not through words nor actions. I only could give you something I deemed as important. Used to think I could patch the flawed porcelain but it's not what you want or need from me. Today, I flipped through my old iPod nano (the one which you helped me uploaded songs and pictures to, because I am hopeless with apple's products) in desperate hope of finding our old photos.. Refusal to bow my head to reality, I flipped through all the 500 plus of pictures for at least a million and one times before accepting the cruel fact that our pictures were gone. Fuck the person who last touched my iPod! Wait, I think it was me. Fuck that iTunes which synchronized it without backing up my files! I miss you. And since before you left, you had been in my heart. The first thought when I wake up, the last thought before I retire for the day. Funny how people doesn't treasure what they have but whines about it days and nights when it's gone. Just to clarify, I treasure you since day one. Just don't like to show my affections. I hate to be all mushy and sticky because I'm afraid of losing you..... More like, I'm afraid to let others know I'm sad when I lose you. Fucking ego, fucking pride. I wish you'll... Nevermind.
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay