Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
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Thursday, May 19, 2011
Yes, every time I ask things like this, it only means one thing.
Yes, I joined another one.
Come to think of it, I have not win competition which I posted here. I am having serious doubts on my own ability.
But Mom managed to cheer me up. Well, it was more of bringing me down but ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE.
I simply adore that song. Come on, sing together! ALWAYS LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH, DAH.
Enough "dah-s" for now. Perhaps, I should indulge in self-admiration and share the tale with you. It's not a tale. It's true. AND SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO MY TUITION TEACHER THAT TIME!
While discussing about my childhood, Mom causally mentioned, "I don't know why hor, every time the problem sums you do hor, always step wrong, working wrong and not to formula one, but always the answer correct. Don't know why. Every time so lucky get the correct answer one. Too bad la, no working points. No wonder do so bad last time."
I admit. My brain works really differently. However, I had FULL MARKS FOR ALL MY MATHEMATICS TESTS AND EXAMINATIONS until PSLE. I didn't get a distinction and that made me depressed.
I HATED MY MATHEMATICS TUITION TEACHER. He'll made me draw models, re-do my questions IN HIS WAY, and force me to go the "proper" way of solving equations. For problem sums, I ended up being awarded the "answer" points only - which is worth a measly 1 point, for a 10 points question.
When I was young, I didn't think much nor did I bother. As long as I scribble some funny workings around the paper UNTIDILY (in that way, teachers cannot see them clearly and this hides the nonsensical numbers that just adds/minus/times/divide to the answer), I always work backwards. I have no idea how I'd arrive at it but I just do. Mental sums? Maybe.
Special thanks to Mrs Tan H.K, my Primary School's Form and Maths teacher. She beats me all the time with the 1-meter wooden ruler. ON MY FREAKING KNUCKLES! And she makes me kneel on the floor all the time. Can I sue her now, for child abuse?
I'm joking. Not about the punishment part, but on the suing. From the first day of school, she starts the lesson with a note on the white board. "Practice makes perfect". And being better than my sister in multiplication (I answer in both English and Mandarin, while she have to convert the question to Mandarin before answering), makes me love Mathematics even more.
Hey, she is prettier, draws well, starts reading Readers' Digest by Primary Three while I received canings from parents all the time for coloring (okay, instead of coloring INSIDE the lines, I simply colored the whole paper in one color) and not studying, cheating in spelling tests and hiding homeworks, doodled on the Beta Form (a form which is a MAJOR demerit) instead of getting my parents to sign it, and forging their signatures on Chinese spelling because I failed every single one of it. I even altered the BIG, RED ZERO and added ONE AND ZERO, in front of the teacher's. I even got a matching ballpoint pen just for it. But parents are smart creatures. They looked at it and, almost immediately, whipped out the canes.
Sorry for that, I was young and overlooked the fact that HANDWRITING MATTERS TOO. But how can the numbers "1" and "0" differ? It is just a stroke and an egg. But they can tell la. The first time they caught me, I used a different red pen. I think I used my sister's G-2 red INK pen and teachers - being teachers - love to use the 50-cents ballpoint pen.
Na bey. First time, exposed. Nevermind. Got smarter and learnt from mistake. Then, the stupid handwriting. So, I learned to forge handwritings, signatures and the pressure of the strokes (yes, I am very observant since young). But, smart Mommy and Daddy. Immediate caning again.
The third time I was even smarter. I hide the notebook totally, claiming that teacher haven't returned us our spelling tests. Haha, worked! I forged THEIR signature and gave it to the teachers. The stupid Chinese Teacher called my Mom and Dad. Na bey. Am I sway or am I sway?
I am pretty creative when it comes to cheating too. The most memorable and stupid one was writing the spelling words (I remembered that it was January to December) on an eraser. I expected my mom to test me in the study room but that day, she decided to do it in the living room. Die le lor. So I hid the eraser under the bed, taking only a paper and my pencil outside. During EVERY WORD, I pretended to write wrongly, run into the room and take a quick peep at the easer. I don't know why did I placed it under the bed. It is hard to retrieve and "taking too long" causes suspicion. It was "September" when she crept (sneaky her!) behind me and looked at what I was doing.
Imagine how high I jumped when I turned around. I think I could win the Olympics High-Jump contest. Then, the cane arrives.
I had tons of cheating methods. Writing on my palms (and ended being caned on my poor hands), writing on my thighs - thinking I could hide it beneath my shorts (and ended up being caned on the thigh that I wrote on) and writing it on the table. They never found that out! Hahaha, Mom, I win.
So back the Mathematics thing. I NEVER did cheat in Mathematics. I allowed people to look at my answers though. I am damn proud of that. But people who copied mine had a tough time trying to copy the workings. My workings are ALL RUBBISH. I just took whatever numbers that appeared and fooled around with them until I get the digits that I had written.
But, I realized one point today. IF I AM ABLE TO FORMULATE MY OWN METHOD, I AM A FREAKING GENIUS! IF ONLY MY MATHEMATICS TEACHERS LISTENED TO ME! IF ONLY MY MOM LISTENS TO ME! I COULD BE MISS EINSTEIN 2 BY NOW!
Obviously, with all my cheating records, they thought I peeped at the answers. But Mom always had this "way" to check on us. For answer sheets, she doesn't tear them out, because we could source it our any way. Okay, that was me too. Humans learn and evolve. She STAPLES them. Smart. If staple bullets were removed, there would be markings. But I am a damn talented girl and I always STAPLES THEM BACK PERFECT! That was only for my Chinese Assessments.
I hate Chinese lessons as the teachers loved to pick on me. I couldn't read a single word from the textbooks if it wasn't for the Han Yu Pin Yin. I am super good and fast at reading Han Yu Pin Yin and it would always be really fluent. But somehow, my Chinese Tuition Teacher in Primary 5ix made me love Chinese so much with all the interesting stories behind the idioms and those characters which could be deciphered. But that's another thing all together.
I used to hate Composition Writing Classes. While my elder sister knows what is "unfortunate", "moreover", "nevertheless", "however", "hence", "thus" and all the LONG words by Primary Two, I only learnt them when I asked her to do my Composition homework for me.
She loves to write, so of course, she did it happily while I watched television. Then I would copy it in my own handwriting. After her tuition lesson was switched to Sunday, our lessons were clashed (we have tuitions together but in different levels - FOR COMPOSITION WRITING) and she had to do her own homework, she refuses to help me. Somehow, I managed to persuade her to READ out and I'll do the writings. In that way, she doesn't have to write so much (and I think that's why she turned down doing my homework).
I never aced my languages. But after a few times of "Reading-Aloud-While-I-Write", my English improved tremendously. She was really patient, having to spell words like, "grime" and "ambiguous", not to mentioned that she have to repeat five million times before I catches it. After about a month, my compositions became PERFECT.
She always had NOTHING on her composition writings (and she always shows it off, having to file all her writings neatly) except for a HUGE TICK at the last line. She need not even do any corrections! Before her help, my compositions were full of colors. Red colors, with my corrections in green ink, and more red strikes for WRONG CORRECTIONS, and more purple for corrections' corrections.
In fact, my papers never had any spaces in them. I had to correct a gazillion times until the teacher finally gave up and told me to RE-DO the whole thing.
I am moving out of point again. But I guess it's really funny, having to walk down memory lane.
BUT, JIE JIE, I AM STILL BETTER IN MATHEMATICS THAN YOU. And Mom, I could have been a PRODIGY if you were to let my creativity flow.
And to think that now if I challenged scientific theories, they would still go, "Eh, nothing better to do huh? Go mop your floor.".
WHY DOESN'T THE WORLD SEE THAT I AM A GENIUS?!?!?!?!
This whole post is so irrelevant to the competition. But, heck! I just want to show that I was once a smart-ass kid in school until I reached Secondary.
Secondary - is where the biggest change happens......
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay