Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!
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Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Take a Step Back, Look at the Flowers
It's been a crazy year. Well, half a year, maybe... Since the last time I update this blog. I thought it'll just die away in a corner, rotting and getting chewed by those little bugs that eats decomposed meat.
I already puked and hurled 3 times by just imagining a meat with flies to top it off with. Urrrrllll... There, I GO AGAIN...
Am sickeningly lost in life, seems like there ain't anything for me to look forward to, in my life. Every move seems so yesterday, every decision planned ahead. There is NOTHING for me to do suddenly. I feel so empty, so wasted, so awkward, so not-myself.. Where is the constant scribblings of notes went to? The mountain high "to-do" list had disappeaared overnight!
Well done, so smart. I AM SO EMPTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Took up the straws (after an hour of brushing off the pesty cobwebs and dust) and made a star!
I still have my talents. Crafty.
Craft - As in art and craft;
Craft- As in cunning and crafty.
Both of the elements, I have (AND PROUD TO SHARE).
I have no idea why people out there have nothing better to do than to hack people's email accounts and facebook, etc.... It's so childish, immature and a total waste of time.
Damn it, I am starting to sound like a nag. I am nagging at myself. Funny, how I am alone in the room and with all the hustle and bustle, none got to me.
Enclosed in my little world with all the untidy mess. I seriously NEED to vacuum my floor before the dust level hits the meter.
I don't even know what I am writing. I just drift off and back, unable to focus, when the tunnel of your life is plain boring..
I see the light at the end. But the journey to there is just plain BORING... Boring!!!!!!!!
I get bored with life, with puzzles, with fun facts, with trying to vive the email accounts back, with picking saga seeds, with everything...
EXCEPT BABY! Yes, why didn't my tiny brain think of that?! To visit Baby.
Well done, Low. You have done yourself proud by outsmarting yourself. Hahahahaha.
Yes, that's what I shall do, at the hit of the dawn.
Nights people! At least something to look forward to in life!
Thousands of words left untyped, thoughts left to wander. I had so many things I wished to share with you guys.... However, when the netbook is on my laps, all I can think of is...... Emptiness and how I am going to die.
It's coming to a stage whereby I'll cry for no reason. I am creeping myself out. I don't want another "outbreak". Eyes hurt, legs shiver, I don't like this at all, no?
What is becoming of me?!
Where is the sunshine girl I know? Where is the optimistic girl I used to be?! Where have it all gone to?! I am tearing now, just by these?! What am I? A crunched-up trash?
I used to believe in myself. Even though the whole world turns against me, even when everything seems so duff. I used to hold on to hopes and look forward a better future. BUT WHAT IS BECOMING OF ME NOW?!?!?! Crying non stop all day long? You better got to do something better than that, young lady - for wasting natural resources.
Come on, Low Yi Min. Slap yourself, where is your bubbly self? Where is the strong faith and hope?
Where did the confidence go to?
I am pacing. I sit and I walk, and I roll up and I stand up. I am going crazy. In my little world which I used to loved and would never harbour the thought of leaving it. But right now, I just want to grab someone, and run... Run to where, I have no idea. Just get a pair of air tickets, train or sea, which ever is available, and travel. Out and out and out!
All I need is Baby to be by me. No one else would matter. In my own little paradise, which I call heaven.
Rammging thoughts of suicide flash, every night, without fail. Suddenly, life seems so meaningless.
GOT TO FUCKING SNAP OUT OF IT, RIS! CARRY ON THIS WAY AND THINGS WOULD BE WORSE! I GOT MYSELF TO CONVINCE. I GOT TO CONVINCE MYSELF! COME ON! WHY ALL THE TEARS, WHY ALL THE LOST HOPE? YOU STILL HAVE ONE GOAL IN LIFE, THAT'S TO PROVIDE THE BEST FOR BABY. BABY NEEDS YOU, BUCK UP! GET YOUR SKIN CONDITION IN CONTROL AND ELOPE. ELOPE TO A PLACE WHEREBY BABY HUSKY WOULD LICK MY TEARS AWAY, SLEEP BESIDE ME QUIETLY AND CURL UP ON ME WHENEVER SHE LIKES.
Baby, you are the light of my life. And if you were to leave Mommy, Mommy would go into a mental wreck and kill herself. So Baby, Baby, Baby. Don't be scared. Mommy's still saving up. Save up enough money and we'll just go away. Away from this evil, cruel world. Mommy's promising you with loads of cheese and iced water, so as you won't starve. Mommy's here for you, to be your little slave in disguise. Baby, others can only chain us to a limit. For us, the sky's the limit. Mommy's promising you your favourite cheese treat and long, long runs. I promise. Baby, wait for Mommy. Mommy will bring you home as soon as I can. For now, please don't forget Mommy. Don't let Mommy's image fade away. Mommy is trying her best to reach to you. Mommy love you and don't you forget......
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay