Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!
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Saturday, November 19, 2011
The Autrocity of Some People
You know the largest disappointment in life is that the person whom you tried to care and be nice to, or even trusted, becomes the worst of characters that you feared.
I stopped pining and hoping, wishing for the good, pure and old "kampong' style way of living since a million years ago.
I may seem really mean in my blog, more than a little screws' loose up in my head but I am really nice when I am nice.
Extremities, think of extremities.
I hate it when people take goodwill for granted. I was trying to be nice. Hey, did it ever occur to you that THERE IS SOMEONE GENUINE? Guess not, you have to try the waters and push my patience over the limit.
Same goes for most people I have met. Damn, do I have, or do I have a lot of bad luck?
It's tiring to put trust in a relationship, then got flipped on-by and start again. When I really stopped pining or seeing any hope, I meant it and my heart just shuts off.
Being in Singapore... Should I say it? Fuck it, decide to shoot whatever I feel out. Singapore, we are lucky. We don't get hell-load of crimes, we don't see murder everyday, we don't see that WE ARE FORTUNATE! This only lead to complacency and taking things for granted is not something that I would be proud of. I am thankful to every thing in life, people around me and even the fact that I am here living (though I may be seriously sick of it).
What happens to the little things in life that sparks off excitement and joy in the earlier days? Seems like everything is so "technological" that WE even lost the need to speak. Languages can now officially be extinct.
There I go again with all my pessimistic words and thoughts. I think my blog is more than gloomy enough and SHOULD DO BETTER WITH THOSE SOUR FEELINGS.
I am not like that, in real life. Well, if you see me on street and I am really cold towards you, that's once in a blue moon's moon swings. Normally, you'll see me with a HUGE SMILE and sunshine attitude, plus a lot of blur-ness.
Reason why I said I am blur is that I think it's hereditary. My grandmother to my mom and my sisters. Insanely naive and ultimate blur. I forgot my wallet while going to a shoot one day and the taxi I was on, had a Mr Nice uncle. The uncle recognized me and I was desperately trying to look for people to save me. I had no money and was late for my appointment and I HAVE NO ONE TO TURN TO!
I nearly dug a hole and bury myself. It was embarrassing. He was so nice, THANK YOU COMFORT CABS, and he said I could transfer him the money, no problem. But THAT DOESN'T SOLVE MY PROBLEM... How to go home later?
And I always forget to ask things like whether people wants to eat kway teow or bee hoon or whether they wants chilli or not or white chicken or roasted ones or with pearls or without pearls?
Then my panic button would HIT A SUPER HIGH AND FREAK OUT. Then you'll expect a big goon to stand in the middle of the road/shopping mall/hawker (and it's really FREEZE-IMMEDIATE-HALT kind of "stand") and a plastered "puzzled" look on my face then fumbling into my "endless-hole-every-thing-also-have-like-doramon" big bag and take (lifesaver!) mobile phone out, while obstructing the road and hogging up queues and blocking traffics, earning large stares and STILL OBLIVIOUS. By the time I come to senses, it's always too late... Major accidents have happened.
So I am lucky I have no driving license. Or the pedestrains and road-users are lucky. For, I am an enormous road hazard. Think it's chauffeuring for my whole life!
Aren't I lucky?
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay