Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!
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Wednesday, January 9, 2013
My Life Is In A Turmoil
My headache has been there for more than 3 days! It's still not gone! Seems like the whole Singapore is in a turmoil! Why? Why is this so? Why the whole world seems to be in a fucking frenzy while keeping so low in profile? What is going on in their head?
All I know is that I'll probably pull the trigger myself if I had a gun, pointed to my head. If that's what make you happy then go ahead. Why the suffering? WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST KILL?!?! Ignore the person if it irks you so much to see that person. Ignore! Don't come whining to me about how the person made millions of dollars when you don't have the fucking guts to invest your entire fortune in that market which you aren't familiar with. Don't! Don't be an eyesore! Don't complain. Don't blame your luck. Don't tell me this and that and regret. Do something about it. Missed that chance? Look out for another one! Why come and complain to me when I am just a lowly paid staff working in a small office? WHY?! What is it that I can do to change the world?!?! NOTHING!
You want to see suicidal? Look at me! I am practically overdosing myself with drugs to kill myself every time my bipolar episode explodes. I am not even aware of it. I thought I am always happy! But why do I cry and scream and try to kill myself at every chance I get when I sleepwalk?! Is that the real me? I am so afraid of my sleep walking now that I refuse my medications!
The life of me? Downwards spiral to hell. What is becoming of the healthy sunshine girl that I am in Secondary school? I remembered being strong and never suicidal. How come I am so extreme when my subconscious takes over? Why? Why? Why?!
I AM THE ONE WHO NEEDS HELP AND YET STANDING STRONG. SO YOU FUCKING WHINERS CAN GO TO HELL! This is my real life story and don't come to me for attention. Mind over body. Your mind is everything that you've got to pull yourself out from any shit that you are in. That's all I have to advice. Sorry but guys, you've lost your last pillar of support. I've collapse.
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay