Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
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Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Dated 24th May 2013 to 27th May 2013
I've been gone for 4 days in Malaysia.
On the 24th May 2013, I left Singapore with a thick cloud of storm forming over my head. Yes, as usual, I headed out, blasting my mp3 as loud as my eardrums could take. I don't want to hear from no one nor speak to anybody. Going there by Jetstar didn't make the trip any better. The only fact that left me in smiles is that I won a little consolation prize at the Changi's Millionaire Jackpot.
Bad point was that I couldn't find my gate. What fucking boarding pass doesn't states the gate number?! Okay, we were there too early.... And I had to walk all the way from one end to another to find a stupid television that lists all the boarding gates' numbers and flight vessel's number. What the fuck?!
My purchase of a tiny box of 16 Truffles Chocolates from God Diva was worth the 60 plus bucks as I got a pair of cardbox speakers from the lucky draw. Out of 5 items available (which consists of plush toy, umbrella and I forgot the rest), I picked the one that is the most useful to me - A PAIR OF SPEAKERS. Umbrella was a good pick too, but I am way too lazy to bring umbrellas out, making it useless for me.
Another fact was that I get to see my BOY FRIEND! It's been really long since I last met him. Actually I wanted to find all my Kuala Lumpur friends... I have like a total of 8 living there and I wanted to visit them all. But sadly, none made the time out for me and are all busy working, working and working.
I was left with no choice but to join my folks up in Genting.
I sat the the boarding gate, C41 (I can remember this fucking number clearly as it took me a full 15 minutes walk to source this information out!) with my big, big book by IT Guy. This was a present 5 years back. When I read the first chapter for the first time, I cried like nobody's business, having to recall my own childhood. Since then, I never had the courage to pick that book up again. It's called "The Courage To Heal: A Guide For Women Survivors Of Child Sexual Abuse". Don't get me wrong. I was never violated in any way. Just that you can consider my case "physical abuse". I never had the courage to face my past, frequently brushing other's "accusations" as something that I could still withstand and my limit's not up yet. I often pretend that I am fine. But the scars that were left behind were almost impossible to ignore.
If you want to know the rest of the contents (like Father raping his own daughter. His daughter reported to her mom and was slapped with verbal accusations like, "Bitch, it must be you! You seduced your dad! You are always in the 'in' crowd! Why?!?!" and she got pregnant. One incident was when her Father put his hands inside her undies and rub her.. OBVIOUSLY WE GIRLS DO FEEL SOMETHING TOO! And because she enjoyed, she began hating herself so much. And she was even forced to drink the father's ejaculation! Like what the fuck?!?! She bore her own father's child at the age of 10. When her child grew up, the father actually raped his own grandchild as well! She then embarked on the road to recovery because if things were kept unsaid, there would be more and more victims.) Another one I read was a grandfather raping a female 12 year old and her cousin. Is that fucking sick or what?! Grandfather! Is it even possible for him to sustain an erection without the help of viagra?!?! What sick world is it out there?!?!?!
Mr B came to the airport to fetch me. Dad and Mum was so rude to turn him down. Not to mention being so super realistic and asked him to pay for all my expenses. Like, hello~ Why should he? Even though that leaves some idea in my brain.... But yea, am not that kind of person. I didn't even spend much money there, having to sleep all the day throughout, other than heading to the gym, I also visited the Doctor there. For what? I dislocated my shoulder again. The left side this time.
I am so super sway can. EVERY TIME I GO OVERSEAS ALONE, AND SO FUCKING HAPPEN TO HAVE NO ONE TO RELY ON, I WOULD DISLOCATE MY SHOULDERS.
First time, to Canada, Toronto. I dislocated my left shoulder while sleeping and had to be sent to the local hospital via an ambulance when I called for the in-house doctor using the room's telephone. They had to send me on a bumpy ride and I was nearly bursting in tears as the ambulance hopped away merrily and me, gritting my teeth and cursing and swearing with every ounce of breath I had left in my lungs after heaving out in painful puffs. I had to wait super long to be attended to. The nurses' just ordered me to walk to the X-Ray room. While I staggered there, a couple of cute doctors walked by. That eased the pain a little. After the X-Ray, a doctor came into my ward and twisted my arm back into place. "All fine", he exclaimed happily and treated me to a cup of warm coffee. Placed an arm sling on me and asked me to pay for the consultation and treatment outside.
Second time was in Australia, Gold Coast. I was alone in the room after a shower and drying my hair with a towel. Then, out came my left shoulder. Like WHAT THE FEATHERS?!?!?! While drying my hair?!?!??! Never mind. Called for help using my mobile, frantically trying to reach my male friend who was out playing golf to come back to the hotel and save me. No answer. I tried to pry my shoulders back into place, standing perpendicular to the floor, have my arms raised to my sides, making it parallel to the floor and 90 degrees to my body. Held on to the bars in the wardrobe which was meant to hang clothes. Pull with all my might.... It did not pop back. And it was hurting so much, I nearly fainted with the amount of pain I was causing myself by trying to turn it back into it's socket.
Hours later, my friend rang me back on phone to invite me for dinner with his Australian friends. While relating to him the incident, he zoomed across the corridor and was outside my room in like a matter of seconds. Then that Mr Nice Guy sweetly helped me turn my shoulder back in place. For that minute, I thought I saw God and was in love with the Lord himself. Help.... Hallelujah~
Third time in hotel alone..... I was asleep. Woke up with a twisted shoulder. This time, it was more painful than any other experiences that I had. In fact, it was so bad, I couldn't feel which direction I should twist it in.. It's like my arm was turned 360 degrees off the socket. I couldn't "feel" the correct posture. Had to rang my parents and they were staying in another hotel, furthest away from the one I was housed in. I felt so bad as my mom packed my luggage, my dad holding my arm and we went to the only clinic available.
The doctor had no problem returning it to it's socket. He said that it was an easy job, meaning that little me had not allowed correct healing since the first time I dislocated it. He ordered for my arm sling to be on until the shoulder recuperates fully. I took it out once I touched down in Singapore. I shall put it back after blogging. I better let it heal properly. Don't want it to be dropping out as and when it likes.
I have a collection of travel memories and arm slings from different hospitals/clinics from various countries. Hahahaha. It's like doing a product research on arm slings.
That's all for my holiday!
I got a shock when I returned to Singapore. 204 unread What'sapp messages! Woo... Shiok or what.
And I used these two planes, at my workplace, like a pen knife to open carton boxes that was sealed by masking tapes..... I sliced through my fingers and those planes weren't even sharp! Imagine my strength when I pry those boxes open!
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay