Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
This Is Me
Me. Magical. Min. Maniac. Monster. Monetary.
"Never let anything known for anyone to stab you in."
FORGIVE BUT NEVER FORGET!
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Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Today's work ended late. Suppose to be at 3am but I went off at 2am. I'm blogging this on cab ride home. There's so many cuties at the bar today.
Sigh. My life turned boring. Other than waking up for work, I'll probably spend the entire day in bed.
Speaking of responsibilities towards work, I'm like leaving an hour earlier every day because of my lack in stamina.
How did I survive all my break ups and farewells, I have no idea. Recently, everyone's leaving! The bartender's last day. I cried like crazy. Well, the bar is full of nice employees. There's not suppose to be a thing that cannot be settled. And he allows me to fool around his counter too. I cannot help but feel a part of me go into numbness as he breaks the news to me. That today is his last day.
I get attached easily and I'm not those who moves on quickly. Luckily, I'm not that easily fooled and got some news that he is leaving. I didn't prepare for it. I didn't see it coming that he'll lie to me. When being confronted, he merely told me that it's not true. When I left for home, he broke the news to me. I felt betrayed. I can take pain. Somehow... But I know I'm going to miss him and the constant chatters that I'll bombard him with.
T-ara, is not going to be the same.
And now, I'm caught in between choices. I am a fighter. A person who gives everything I do, everyone I knew, nothing but the best of me. But having to choose between hurting an innocent party or hurting myself, I selfishly chose to hurt the innocent one.
I know I shouldn't have. But I'm not willing to let something I treasure so much away. A fire cannot be concealed with just paper. Nor can it be caught or contained. Fire, a bad master but a good servant. I'm playing with fire now. How much damage it'll cost is constantly running through my mind.
I know this post is confusing for all. There's 2 different issues I have addressed here.
One is the leaving of a good friend. Fate might never let us see each other (by accident) again and I'm smart to get his contact before I leave for home. I didn't even fuss a hug. Just turned and leave like how he, in his heart, would want us to. A person who kept his secrets till the last minute probably wouldn't want to hurt others' feelings. So, I just turned to leave so that he would feel better. Just the way he wanted me to.
Sounds like love? Nope. Not all. I draw my line more than clearly.
Sigh. I rather sleep on all my woes. :( maybe that's why I am always sleepy. Too troubled..
SLEEP ON IT! Time heals all wounds.
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you're oughta stay